Save the Bullet—Reuse the Rope!

By: SIZEQUEEN

Though we live free in these United States of America—by far the greatest county in the world—we have our fair share of governmental issues.

One of the biggest problems with the United States is our Pussy Judicial System. Let’s discuss for a moment prisons.

THE BIGGIEST OXYMORON OF THEM ALL
Prisoners Rights??? What!
Hey asshole—you forfeited your rights when you broke the law.

Inmates have the right to be free, under the Eighth Amendment, from inhuman conditions because those conditions constitute "cruel and unusual" punishment. The term "cruel and unusual" was not defined at the time the Amendment was passed, but it was noted by the Supreme Court in 1848 that such punishments would include "drawing and quartering, emboweling alive, beheading, public dissecting, and burning alive," among other things. Today, many of these punishments may seem antiquated, but the basic scope of the protection remains the same. Any punishment that can be considered inhumane treatment or that violates the basic concept of a person's dignity may be found to be cruel and unusual.

Bullshit I say, Bullshit.
We really need to bring back burning alive as well as drawing and quartering.

We have gone in the complete and opposite direction from “cruel and unusual.”

THE FACTS
Prisons in the United States are a joke. What do we feel bad because these law breaking fuck sticks aren’t “free?” So we insist that their extended stay at resort Alcatraz is a serene and pleasant one.

Prison Luxuries:
Education—Your not worth it dick suck. Your just not. My God some tax payers can’t even afford to sent their own children to college but they are helping Bruce the peder-ass get his bachelors in child psychology so when he gets out he can really fuck with children.

Premium Cable TV—Well why not the Spice channel while were at it. Totally understandable. I am sure they are sick and tired of thinking of that same old pin up while they fuck their “girlfriends” hairy asshole. Let’s give them something new.

Internet—Um really.

Books/Reading Materials—see Education above.

Workout Facilities—Yeah, that makes sense. They are probably board and what better hobby for a rapist then lifting weights. I mean they are in prison which probably0 means she got away due to the fact that she couldn’t be overpowered. They better beef up for next time.

Condoms—Yes, I swear on my mother we pay for condoms. Oh but don’t worry according to a recent news story “it costs Mr. and Mrs. Tax payer only pennies.” Well then by all means let’s also pay for candles and a nice red fucking wine so they can enjoy themselves. Well I suppose this goes right along with the Spice channel doesn’t it.

Catered Prime Rib dinner—Oh yeah I can totally see how they would deserve this. I mean they should get a Christmas too right. In fact let’s give them all fucking presents. Maybe a nice Rolex or a gold fucking tooth while were at it. As far as I’m concerned hot meals are a luxury. Don’t waste my tax money on the gas to warm up porridge. A crust of bread, a splash of water and then back to your cage for the rest of the day swine.

Pool Tables, Handball, Tennis—The fact that they get games which require more than a stone and there own spit is frigin’ nuts. Break this big rock into a shit load of tiny rocks—there’s your god damn recreation.

BUT WHAT ABOUT REHABILITATION
I got your rehabilitated prisoner right here—hanging from the end of my rope.
Let me be frank about this topic. You broke the law cock smoke and you knew what you were doing was wrong. You should have thought about the consequences when you were committing a heinous crime against society.

Now, I am not saying some people can’t be rehabilitated. Yes, some law breakers deserve a second chance—I mean we all make mistakes. Tax evasion, theft, vandalism, etc. these people may be able to pay their debt to society and then become good, honest citizens. What I am talking about is the maximum security prisoners (rapists, murderers, pedi filers, etc). Why even have maximum security prisons at all. These are a waste. Which leads me to my next point.

THE HEMORAGING OF OUR TAX DOLLARS
Why in the hell are jails so over crowded? And why in the hell do I pay for the scum that inhabit these prisons? Once again our pussy judicial system at work.

I have come up with the perfect solution to the overcrowding situation as well as a solution to the hemorrhage of our tax dollars on food, clothing, shelter, etc. for the prisoners.

The solution:
All rapists, child molesters, serial killers and repeat offenders should be subject to harsher punishments. And well, I like to think of myself as a fair and just person—Let’s give them some rights.

Please note: The following punishments are not the death penalty—that is way too lengthy and EXPENSIVE as well as way too humane for the scum of the earth.
From the time of the guilty verdict they will have a 5 day period to decide their fate.  This is now called the “5 day live in terror of your punishment and pray its over fast” period.

To all Rapists—You have the right to choose the object in which you will be sodomized with while you wait out your 5 day live in terror of your punishment and pray its over fast period. These objects include a broom handle, a bowling ball, a gallon of milk and a keyboard. After your 5 day period you may choose to have your genitals cut off by either a rusty spoon or a sharp stick. 

To all child molesters—You have rights as well. You have the right to choose how you die. Either public hanging where the rope would be reused until it broke and well that unlucky bastard would have to be hung twice. Or public stoning—stones are always free. Or you can choose to have genitals cut off and your asshole cauterized shut causing you to die due to a back up of your own filth (how appropriate). The world has no use for Pedi filers.

To all serial killers—You have the right to choose to be buried alive in a coffin made out of press board or a coffin made out of metal spikes. You do get a canteen of water and a moldy ham sandwich that way you won’t die of dehydration or starvation. Lets make it last. 
 
And finally, to all repeat offenders (1/2 of the prisoners in the US are repeat offenders, obviously rehab hasn’t worked thus far)--You have the right to remain silent while a pissed off and fed up cop gets to kick your ass. Then you are released into a sort of game farm where they then get to shoot at you until they feel you’ve had enough or well you die. You also have the right to pass on the game and choose drowning.
Now, I know this seems like a contradiction to the title “save the bullet-reuse the rope” but think about how many cops would be less angry and therefore less likely to ruin your day with a ticket for going 5 or 7 miles over the speed limit. In this case, I am sure the good tax payers of America wouldn’t mind springing for a bullet or two.

THE GUARANTEE
I can guarantee this will save a ton of money in taxes which we can use toward the 9,060,430,280,337.55 trillion dollar national deficit or toward education or social security.
I can also guarantee people would think twice before committing a serious crime.

There you have it! In a matter of a little over an hour I have managed to come up with a solution to rid society of the scum and also how to save millions of dollars of our tax payers’ money. Great job Bush, you had 8 fucking years.

God damn I should be president.

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